I've got 15 minutes until my baby-sitter leaves and I just have to get this typed out because I just do.
Today after talking with a friend, I realized sometimes life is just hard. It doesn't matter to what capacity…you could be single looking for love and weirdos keep coming your way, you could be a homeschooling mom of four starting your own business and spinning in circles, you could be a new mom realizing parenting is exhausting and hard. Whatever situation you are in right now, just know that we know and understand hard times.
Since June, Mike has been home 24 hours a day, the girls are being home schooled and are here 24 hours a day, and Joel…oh that Joel needs me 24 hours a day. I'm an introvert so I desperately need time alone and sometime a lot of it. I haven't had it in months.
Today, when I was about ready to be done, God gave me a babysitter, my husband needed to be with he is Dad, and God opened up for me to get out and mow. I needed that. Time alone. 2.5 hours. I feel better already.
Last though before I surrender back to my kiddos….homeschool is not for the weak, like I once thought. It is one of the hardest things I've ever done…okay maybe not the hardest, but it is HARD! I'll hopefully post an updated homeschool post soon, but don't expect it…I'm an inconsistent blogger.
And a shout out to my friends for dealing with me as I never call them back, only call them when I need something, and pray for me A LOT. I've turned into the Needy Friend that I swore I would never become. Love you girls…you know who you are.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
When Your Soul Needs Refreshed...
Most dictionaries define solitude as "the state of being alone." As believers, solitude is the state of being alone with God. It is a condition of the heart as well as of the body. We separate ourselves from our busy, everyday lives and draw close to God.
When we take a look at Jesus, the "busiest" man who ever walked the earth, we find that he deliberately escaped into solitude throughout his ministry. He used solitude for replenishment. After a busy period of ministering, Jesus went off by himself to pray.
It may seem next to impossible to accomplish, but we all need a few regular minutes of solitude. Forget what we had planned to do during our child's nap time and instead, curl up in front of the fireplace to pray. Or stretch out on a lounge chair in the sun and reflect on God's goodness.
Whether a twentieth-century mom or a New Testament Savior or an Old Testament psalmist--we all need solitude for replenishing. "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul" (Psalm 23:2-3).
_______________
Found this little devotional back in 2013 and it has meant so much to me. God, make me lie down in green pastures (because you know I won't do this on my own)….Lead me beside those quiet, quiet waters and restore my soul.
My prayer for those reading this is that you will allow God to restore your soul. Take the time…the other side is a place of peace and comfort.
Monday, July 13, 2015
New things are happening…aren't they always!
For those of you who have loved me from the time I was born, understand that God has designed me in a way that things change all the time with me.
Just up and move to VA and go to college at age 24.
Make a last minute decision to live in Maryland for a summer to be a counselor.
Meet my husband on eharmony.com.
Work 5 part-time jobs with 3 kids under the age of 5.
Start my own business…two different times.
Move to the country because I've always wanted to be a farmer.
Have a baby at age 40.
Now…begin homeschooling with a newborn….lol….this has to be the funniest thing God has called me to do. I can't wait to begin the year.
That's just a small list. The point being that I love change, I love seeing how God puts me in different places, I'm always up for the challenge…okay..most of the time.
Thank you to my family and friends who hang on tight every time they get a phone call from me. And..most of my friends hate change so I'm a good firecracker to get them all stirred up. ;)
Anyway, I'll be remodeling this website so just hang on and I'll let you know once it's finished.
Just up and move to VA and go to college at age 24.
Make a last minute decision to live in Maryland for a summer to be a counselor.
Meet my husband on eharmony.com.
Work 5 part-time jobs with 3 kids under the age of 5.
Start my own business…two different times.
Move to the country because I've always wanted to be a farmer.
Have a baby at age 40.
Now…begin homeschooling with a newborn….lol….this has to be the funniest thing God has called me to do. I can't wait to begin the year.
That's just a small list. The point being that I love change, I love seeing how God puts me in different places, I'm always up for the challenge…okay..most of the time.
Anyway, I'll be remodeling this website so just hang on and I'll let you know once it's finished.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
What are you having to trust God with right now?
I saw this question posted and realized this needs to be my day to encourage you.
For me, trusting that "God's got my back" didn't happen at once. It was through a series of trials that my faith in Him has grown. I've also made a choice to surround myself with those of the same mind set.
One of my favorite verses that I pray for myself and others is James 1:2-4 " Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when face trial of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking nothing." (If you have time to read all of chapter 1, read it. If you don't have a bible for to www.biblegateway.com and search James 1.)
I wish I could say that I've gotten to the point where I consider it 100% joy when I face trials. What I do hold tight to is the fact that God is trying to strengthen me so that my life can be used to make an impact in others.
Friends....I love God. I absolutely believe He is real and has a purpose for my life and yours, I know that life is more than my happiness and contentment. I know he has more than we can ever imagine. And just so you don't forget, God absolutely loves you and hasn't forgotten you.
There are days that I shake my head and say "Satan, you will not defeat me!" You know those days, they start off crazy...
>Can't get the kids moving in the morning
>House is a wreck
>Van doesn't start
>School calls with sick kids
.Propane tank goes empty... eight hours and $100 later you are starting to thaw out.
>You forget to set the trash out from the previous week
>Big fight with the hubby because you stepped in dog poop.
>The kids leave the van to go into the school building and as you turn and drive off you realize you forgot to brush their hair.
And we all know the list goes on and on.
It's these little things that add up and usually all in one day or one week. It's just too much for us to handle and Satan in his little crafty mind thinks...."All I need to do is one more thing until she cracks and denies God. I can do this."
Well friends, that is why you'll always here me say and sometimes I scream it out loud (lol) " Satan, YOU will not defeat me."
All this to say...What is God asking you to trust him with today? I'm praying you take one baby step in that direction. Just one. I have no doubt you have big obstacles in front of you, but I know God wants to walk beside you each step of the way. And from experience I can promise you it's nice to know I have someone to lean on.
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Wow…what just happened.
Good Morning friends and family. I'm sharing my story with you so that hopefully your faith in God will grow and you can see His peace satisfies our soul if we let him.
It's Saturday morning and I woke up to the reality of "Wow..what just happened!"
I had to replay it all in my head and then realized that this is something I need to write down.
1. I had a regular high risk doctor appointment scheduled for Monday. I had to cancel because R was sick and needed to get to the doctor for medicines.
2. On Tuesday, S came down with the same thing R had and so I knew it was going to be a long week, but I called to reschedule my high risk appointment. My options were Thursday at 10:45 or the next Thursday at 2:30. I knew the girls were still going to have fevers by Thursday so at first I said let's just wait until next week, then that maternal instinct said "you should go this week, call your mom have her come up and watch the girls at home."
3. My good ole' mom saved the day again and came up to watch the girls so I could get to my appointment on Thursday.
4. During the high risk appointment little Joel was moving around as usual. Nurse said things look great, but he's a pretty big boy.
Now to back up a little and to update you on my history. When I was pregnant with Rachel my body made antibodies. These antibodies were discovered when I first found out I was pregnant with Sarah. I believe they are antibodies E and c. They would need to do testing throughout my pregnancies to test the "tighters?" These tighters would let them know if the antibodies were attacking the baby as if the baby was an infection. Usually the first few pregnancies after discovering these antibodies you won't see any changes.
Besides seeing an increase in tighters they would see that the baby was swelling. This usually happens to the abdomen and heart. So when they do the high risk ultrasound they will pick up on it because the baby is measuring "big."
5. So, my doctor comes in and has a seat and explains what he sees in the ultrasound. He said the baby looks great except he was pretty sure he was anemic at this point meaning those antibodies that were discovered in my earlier pregnancies have possibly began to attack baby Joel as if he was an infection. He instructed that I would have a steroid shot immediately there and then I would need to go straight to Labor and Delivery at OSU to get a blood transfusion to the baby.
6. At this point, I was just thankful my mom had the girls and I could concentrate on what I needed to take care of which was baby Joel's health.
7. Get to OSU and met up with my new BFF, Karen who is a head nurse. She explains everything to me. They take my blood, rush it off so they can get blood from American Red Cross. Set me up in a room with monitors and let me know two of the doctors will be in to evaluate his status.
8. Once the doctors and my BFF, Karen came back they explained everything again, they said it was three possibilities that has caused him to get anemic. The antibodies, an exposure to parvovirus (fifths disease), heart defect, or down syndrome. They also shared that by next week, Joel would have probably passed away.
9. During this time OSU was still looking at my blood and Red cross was on it's way to deliver the blood. Unfortunately, OSU discovered that my body had produced another antibody (jkl) and the blood that Red Cross has brought wouldn't work. So, the blood transfusion to Joel would have to be put off until Friday morning.
10. The doctors were amazed that Joel was still moving. One predicted that his blood level was around 4 and the other predicted around 2.5. It's supposed to be 15. They would only be able to tell when they were doing the procedure.
11. I spent the night at the hospital and now I'll fast forward to the procedure.
With this procedure I was slightly sedated and they had to paralyze Joel because as you know the child doesn't stop moving ever. They went into the umbilical cord, got a test of blood, rushed it to the lab and found out his level was 2.4. Then they proceeded to add the new blood back into the cord. They tested again after and found out with the transfusion his blood level went back up to 6. Remember our goal is 15. After, I was a little loopy, but really it wasn't painful at all. I had to be monitored for 2 hours and then I was discharged.
Things happened so fast so I think that's why this morning I woke up and said "What in the world just happened." Anyway, I am at true peace, I honestly believe God has everything in his hands and I trust whatever the outcome is. I'm not worried or stressed. I do have a horrible head/chest cold which is making crazy, but that will pass too.
**Update…Karen called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that they did get one result back from the testing and one of the antibodies was off the charts high. When they see it at a level of 32 they give a transfusion, but mine was 256. So, she said until they get all the tests back they can't say for sure, but she is certain this is one of the main causes. Which again means that this antibody is attacking the baby as if it's an infection. Joel will have to get blood transfusions for the rest of the pregnancy and after birth. Since we have done this, we have also stopped his bone marrow from producing so he is dependent on these transfusions. They said after delivery he will probably have to have a couple more.
I'm headed back Monday for another procedure and will know more about test results.
I hope this helps.
Here is the verse I cling to as I did with my pregnancy with Rebecca…
Psalm 23
It's Saturday morning and I woke up to the reality of "Wow..what just happened!"
I had to replay it all in my head and then realized that this is something I need to write down.
1. I had a regular high risk doctor appointment scheduled for Monday. I had to cancel because R was sick and needed to get to the doctor for medicines.
2. On Tuesday, S came down with the same thing R had and so I knew it was going to be a long week, but I called to reschedule my high risk appointment. My options were Thursday at 10:45 or the next Thursday at 2:30. I knew the girls were still going to have fevers by Thursday so at first I said let's just wait until next week, then that maternal instinct said "you should go this week, call your mom have her come up and watch the girls at home."
3. My good ole' mom saved the day again and came up to watch the girls so I could get to my appointment on Thursday.
4. During the high risk appointment little Joel was moving around as usual. Nurse said things look great, but he's a pretty big boy.
Now to back up a little and to update you on my history. When I was pregnant with Rachel my body made antibodies. These antibodies were discovered when I first found out I was pregnant with Sarah. I believe they are antibodies E and c. They would need to do testing throughout my pregnancies to test the "tighters?" These tighters would let them know if the antibodies were attacking the baby as if the baby was an infection. Usually the first few pregnancies after discovering these antibodies you won't see any changes.
Besides seeing an increase in tighters they would see that the baby was swelling. This usually happens to the abdomen and heart. So when they do the high risk ultrasound they will pick up on it because the baby is measuring "big."
5. So, my doctor comes in and has a seat and explains what he sees in the ultrasound. He said the baby looks great except he was pretty sure he was anemic at this point meaning those antibodies that were discovered in my earlier pregnancies have possibly began to attack baby Joel as if he was an infection. He instructed that I would have a steroid shot immediately there and then I would need to go straight to Labor and Delivery at OSU to get a blood transfusion to the baby.
6. At this point, I was just thankful my mom had the girls and I could concentrate on what I needed to take care of which was baby Joel's health.
7. Get to OSU and met up with my new BFF, Karen who is a head nurse. She explains everything to me. They take my blood, rush it off so they can get blood from American Red Cross. Set me up in a room with monitors and let me know two of the doctors will be in to evaluate his status.
8. Once the doctors and my BFF, Karen came back they explained everything again, they said it was three possibilities that has caused him to get anemic. The antibodies, an exposure to parvovirus (fifths disease), heart defect, or down syndrome. They also shared that by next week, Joel would have probably passed away.
9. During this time OSU was still looking at my blood and Red cross was on it's way to deliver the blood. Unfortunately, OSU discovered that my body had produced another antibody (jkl) and the blood that Red Cross has brought wouldn't work. So, the blood transfusion to Joel would have to be put off until Friday morning.
10. The doctors were amazed that Joel was still moving. One predicted that his blood level was around 4 and the other predicted around 2.5. It's supposed to be 15. They would only be able to tell when they were doing the procedure.
11. I spent the night at the hospital and now I'll fast forward to the procedure.
With this procedure I was slightly sedated and they had to paralyze Joel because as you know the child doesn't stop moving ever. They went into the umbilical cord, got a test of blood, rushed it to the lab and found out his level was 2.4. Then they proceeded to add the new blood back into the cord. They tested again after and found out with the transfusion his blood level went back up to 6. Remember our goal is 15. After, I was a little loopy, but really it wasn't painful at all. I had to be monitored for 2 hours and then I was discharged.
Things happened so fast so I think that's why this morning I woke up and said "What in the world just happened." Anyway, I am at true peace, I honestly believe God has everything in his hands and I trust whatever the outcome is. I'm not worried or stressed. I do have a horrible head/chest cold which is making crazy, but that will pass too.
**Update…Karen called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that they did get one result back from the testing and one of the antibodies was off the charts high. When they see it at a level of 32 they give a transfusion, but mine was 256. So, she said until they get all the tests back they can't say for sure, but she is certain this is one of the main causes. Which again means that this antibody is attacking the baby as if it's an infection. Joel will have to get blood transfusions for the rest of the pregnancy and after birth. Since we have done this, we have also stopped his bone marrow from producing so he is dependent on these transfusions. They said after delivery he will probably have to have a couple more.
I'm headed back Monday for another procedure and will know more about test results.
I hope this helps.
Here is the verse I cling to as I did with my pregnancy with Rebecca…
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
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